It's Lonely
by hybridroseflower
Summary: (Spoilers from manga.) Eren and Levi comfort each other after their comrades deaths.


A loud silence.

That was the only way Eren could describe his time with Levi after his squad's death.

It echoed and filled up the room, a tense and awkward atmosphere that climbed down his throat, wrapped itself around his body and slowly choked him.

Levi talked. It was so unusual, but he made comments every now and then. Until finally Eren had enough of his uncharacteristic attitude.

"Captain…" he murmured, bouncing his knee as a distraction. "You are… quite talkative today."

"Yeah right." Levi scoffed, turning to watch Eren with a disbelieving gaze. "I've never known when to shut my mouth."

Out of the corner of his eye Eren could sense the emotions behind his gaze. He was sad, grieving, maybe even falling apart inside? If Levi had been Mikasa or Armin- maybe even Sasha or Connie; he'd have hugged him by now. Just to be in the grip of a friend, one who wouldn't ever judge the reactions of what they'd been through.

But his and Levi's friendship wasn't like that.

He couldn't hug him; comfort him.

"Sorry…" Eren whispered, allowing his hands to fall down at his sides. "If I had not… made the wrong choice back then… things would never have gone that way." Eren took a deep breath, ignoring how his throat closed up. "You wouldn't have gotten injured, and-"

"Didn't I already tell you?" Levi muttered, his voice soft. "No one could have predicted those results."

Eren nodded weakly as Levi turned away, facing the wall.

"I just wish I had done something sooner… Maybe then they wouldn't have-"

"Eren," Levi said sternly, but his tone was still friendly. "Don't blame yourself."

"But I could have done something, Captain! If only I had transformed into a titan sooner, I could have… I could have _saved them_."

Eren was exasperated and desperate by now, tears clinging to his eyelashes but refusing to fall. Levi stood up, not saying a word as he approached Eren and knelt down in front of him. "Don't," he repeated, perhaps… begging? "They asked you to trust them, and wherever they are now, they will be _proud_ that you trusted them."

Levi rested a hand on top of Eren's as he clenched them once more below the table, and gently ran his thumb over tense knuckles. "Please… don't make it harder."

"It's lonely without them here," Eren choked out, removing one hand from Levi's grip as he rubbed at his eyes, shaking his head desperately. "I-It's not the same!"

Levi moved from his crouch to rest on his knees, completely unlike him because of the filthy floor. "I know," he whispered, resting his forehead against Eren's side, just above where he could feel the prominent hipbone bump his chin. "It's lonely…"

Eren was shocked. So shocked that he didn't know how to express it, he just moved a hand to rest gently on top of Levi's head, running his fingers through the soft black hair. "Captain…" he mumbled, pausing his hand movements.

Levi looked up, one hand still over Eren's. "Yeah?"

"I'm sorry," he whispered, pulling the older man to stand up straight with him. "Can you… forgive me?"

Eren wrapped his arms around the small shoulders and pulled his captain against him, sighing softly when the grip was reciprocated around his waist.

"I never blamed you, stupid brat." Levi mumbled against his collarbone, clenching handfuls of his shirt and clinging to Eren as if he was the living entity of his humanity- and his hope.

"I won't let… what happened to them… ever happen to you," Eren promised, resting his cheek on Levi's ruffled hair, refusing to let go.

"Right back at you," Levi whispered, his lips brushing Eren's neck as he pulled back slowly. The younger boy sucked in a nervous breath but allowed his hands to linger around the collar of Levi's shirt, nervously thumbing the material.

"You should go to sleep," Eren whispered, smoothing down his collar and straightening out Levi's buttons. "I… We'll be fine," he assured, moving one hand to gently nudge the bottom of his back, in the direction of the door.

"Don't sleep in the basement anymore, Eren," Levi said, reaching a hand behind him to pat the taller boy's stomach in what he assumed was a comforting gesture.

"Eh? W-where should I sleep?"

"Any room you want."

"Right… thank you," Eren muttered, giving his Captain a small pat on the shoulder when they parted ways. He simply scuttled into the room next door, collapsing onto the ready made bed.

Sleep had encased him nearly as soon as he fell down, but around an hour or so lately he woke with a groan, rubbing at his tired eyes. His dreams were plagued with his squad. With Petra mainly. Levi had told him about the poor girl's father coming up to him and talking about marriage, and Eren had felt sick when the story was relayed.

He slipped off the bed and padded slowly to Levi's room next door, gently pushing it open to creep inside.

Levi led there- peacefully. His eyes were closed and his eyelashes fluttered against his cheeks occasionally. Eren hated to disturb him, but on impulse he pulled back the small duvet and climbed underneath.

"Er…en?" Levi croaked, blinking open his eyes as he moved over and adjusted for the larger boy. "Why are you in my bed?"

"I want to be with you, Captain," Eren whispered, sliding one hand underneath the side Levi had against the mattress, and wrapping the other arm around his body to hold him close.

"Stupid brat," Levi chuckled softly, and buried himself into Eren's chest contentedly.

"Good night," Eren breathed.

"Good night."


End file.
